Name your own values

If you can’t name what you value, someone else will name it for you.

What to learn

Put your core values into your own words — what you actually care about — and use them to steer choices.

The problem it solves

Values stay borrowed and unexamined, so decisions get made by default, mood, or whoever’s loudest.

How to teach it

Teach a child

Ask what they admire in people they respect, and what makes them angry on someone else’s behalf — both point straight at values. Have them name three and test them against a real choice. Let the values be theirs, not yours; your job is to make sure they’re chosen, not absorbed.

Teach yourself

Write down the handful of things you actually value, then check them against how you spend your time — the gap is the assignment. Values you can name are ones you can act from; values you can’t are just moods.

Tactics that teach it

Name It kid tool

Put the feeling, value, or trade into words — naming makes it choosable.

Have them say it plainly: what they feel, what they value, what this yes costs. Naming a thing pulls it out of the fog and makes it something you can weigh and choose, instead of something that just happens to you.

Done when

Can name their core values in their own words and point to choices that reflect them.

In the framework

The compass being built: meaning is made and chosen, not issued. Naming your values is the act of authorship the framework hands you — as long as they rest on what’s true.

This lesson lives in Meaning — the compass that points the engine before it moves. Read The Compass →

Lenses that apply

Thinking tools worth bringing to this one — open any to see how it works.

Decide Regret Minimization Which choice will you least regret from the end of your life?

Track your progress on this lesson

Prefer paper? Print a two-week worksheet → to track it day by day on the counter.

More in Meaning

meaningTell needs from wantsNot everything you want, you need — learn the difference.meaningMake a career decisionA career is a bet — make it with open eyes, not by drift.meaningChoose work that means somethingDo at least one thing well enough to give it away.

Next in the Playbook

belongingBe a real friendFriendship is shown up for, not just felt.dignityStand up to peer pressureA crowd can be wrong — keep your own line.dignityStand against bullyingSilence sides with the stronger — don’t.

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