# Workbook

*Track 3 of three. The living, personal tracker — where a **real** individual
actually is, not where the average kid "should" be. One per person. This is the
[Framework](01-foundations.md)'s respect for the individual, made practical:
"difference isn't deficiency."*

Each person's page is a snapshot that gets updated as they grow. These are working
drafts, kept honest and current.

---

## The 3-Bucket Model

Sort everything a kid "needs to do" into **three buckets, not one** — because they
are not the same kind of thing and must not be treated the same:

1. **Strengths to feed** — where they're *ahead*. Celebrate and stretch these; don't
   only track deficits.
2. **Skills to build** — *teachable now*, with the tools. This is where goals and
   2-week focuses live.
3. **Things to let mature** — developmental/physiological, not behavioral. These get
   **patience and support, not goals-and-consequences.** Treating a maturing thing
   like a discipline problem is the classic mistake (and a little unkind).

> This sorting is the Framework's *epistemology* axiom pointed at your own child:
> **see clearly what's actually true about her** before setting any goal.

---

## Stevie — age 5

*Very smart; in daycare 5 days/week; knows countries, animals, numbers, letters —
a lot. The gaps are social and self-regulatory, not cognitive.*

- **Strengths to feed:** countries, animals, numbers, letters; strong general
  knowledge and memory. Give her harder, richer material — don't let her coast.
- **Skills to build:** finishing / focus (stops mid-activity, switches constantly);
  sharing; cleaning up; taking a "no" without escalating; consideration of others.
- **Things to let mature:** bed-wetting — **developmental and very common at 5;
  not a discipline item.** Support (basics, patience), don't punish or goal-set it.
  Empathy is a middle case — partly teachable, partly just *not fully online yet* at
  her age; build gently *and* give it time. She isn't "selfish," she's five.
- **Current focus:** CHOOSE + RESET, weeks 1–2 *(see [Playbook](07-playbook.md))*.

---

## Van — age 2

*Just at the start. Keep everything short and concrete.*

- **Skills to build:** dirty clothes in the hamper, toys into the bin (as a game),
  first/then sequences, carrying small items to the table. Keep his loops **short.**
- **Things to let mature:** most everything — he's two. Naming feelings, impulse
  control, and sharing are all just beginning.
- **The rivalry fix:** a few things that are explicitly *ours to share* (the Shared
  Shelf), small stuff included — so it isn't always "his" vs "hers."